my spam wish list
As someone who's online pretty much every day, I've actually become more or less resigned to the reality of spam. Still:
1. I wish that the Viagra vendors and purveyors of penis enlargement would figure out that I'm female. I mean, okay, I know that 'Nikki' is sort of a unisex name, but surely the spelling isn't? But clearly these folk are confused, or they wouldn't keep sending me messages like: "You DARE to f**k women with that tiny d**k?!" (Asterisks are theirs, not mine, by the way.) I really don't know why I find this insulting, considering that I neither f**k women nor have any size of d**k, but nevertheless, I feel bruised whenever I encounter these epithets on my monitor. I have been told that I have sizable balls; maybe that's the source of confusion?
2. I wish one of the many people writing to offer me millions of dollars would actually turn out to be the real deal. On second thought, scratch that, because even if it was the real deal, I'd never believe it, out of sheer overexposure. Instead, I wish I could figure out why all these supposedly abandoned bank accounts and unassigned inheritances seem to originate from South Africa. What's up with that? Is it particularly difficult to check up on such things in South Africa, or do the spammer-scammers simply figure that it's too far away for anyone to possibly doubt? And if it's the latter, then where does the spam-scam addressed to people in South Africa originate from? Let's hope it's the Philippines; at least then, the thousands of people around the world who still think we live in trees will realize that we have Internet connections, not to mention banks.
3. I wish those people who go around trying to send other people viruses would at least refrain from abusing the English language--although, granted, it has probably helped me avoid infection more than once, as I categorically refuse to acknowledge anything labeled "Read this important informations!" Actually, Alex has informed me that spammers often misspell these things on purpose, to avoid being identified by webbots. Which means that webbots also have no truck with bad grammar. Good for them!
3a. In relation to the preceding item, I really wish that I would stop sending myself email with viral attachments. It's bad enough getting virus email; worse having your email address hacked into; and the worst of all is getting scam spam from yourself! Aside from the irritation factor, this may well cause me to miss any important warnings or advice sent to me from my future self through the backward flow of the time stream.
Hey, you never know. But I'm pretty sure I wouldn't say "important informations attached".
So I looked it up and...
Bouillabaise is a very rich Mediterranean fish soup, distinguished by a unique flavoring derived from saffron, fennel seeds, and orange zest. Variously referred to as 'the magical synthesis' or 'soupe d'or (soup of gold)', it's supposed to have been invented by the Roman goddess Venus to lull her husband Vulcan to sleep while she fooled around with Mars, the god of war.
As for vichyssoise, it turns out that this creamy potato-leek soup (which is indeed served cold) is not a French soup at all, but an American invention! It was actually created by Chef Louis Diat of the New York Ritz-Carlton, sometime in the 1910s.