Contradiction in Terms
You say to-may-toe; I say toh-mah-tah. Deal with it.
Tuesday, February 03, 2004

more pet peeves
Apparently, I am irked by nearly any situation that combines stupid people and devices with keypads. Case in point: the ATM line, and the double-digit IQs that seem to populate it:

1. people who wait until the absolute last second to get out their wallets, thus delaying everyone else in the mile-long payday queue. I mean, what is that? Are they afraid they're gonna get robbed? Like, before they withdraw their money?!

2. people who cannot seem to fit their ATM cards into the card slot. I keep wanting to sit them down and make them practice with my daughter's shape-sorting toy until they get it right.

3. people who cannot remember their PIN numbers. Hey, you made the code, genius! If you can't remember, go back to your bank and ask them, and put yourself out of my misery.

4. people who are unhinged by simple onscreen questions. I imagine them thinking, "Duh, what language do I prefer?" How about the one you're-- theoretically-- thinking in, pal?

5. people who are too dumb to live, let alone receive money. You know, the ones who insist that the machine is out of cash when you can clearly read the message that says: "Your bank is currently not communicating with this ATM." And they stand there in the way, waiting for everyone else to buy into their idiocy and leave.

6. people who continue to chat or text on their cell phones when it's their turn to use the machine. Although, after all, we've established that they cannot possibly be expected to operate more than one device at a time. Including that biological one which is laughably referred to as a brain.

Honest to God, they should make people take comprehensive examinations before issuing them ATM cards. Then again, the idea of asking these folks to (shudder) fill out a bank request form may be entirely too horrific to contemplate.

Why is Vaseline called 'Vaseline'? (Smart-alecky answers will not be entertained!)

answer to yesterday's question
Okay, the answer I had in mind was that 'hagazussa' is the German root word for 'hag', referring specifically to a type of hideous cannibalistic sorceress. However, in my efforts to provide thorough information, I discovered to my surprise that a hagazussa is also (a) an eel-like marine creature with a tooth-filled round maw surrounded by eight tentacles, and (b) a specific rock group, most likely German in origin. (Not only are the websites relating to the group all written in German, but if you ask me, only a bunch of Germans would go around naming themselves after an ugly cannibal witch or an ugly cannibalistic fish.)
Nikki bit in at 12:09 AM :: ::
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