Contradiction in Terms
You say to-may-toe; I say toh-mah-tah. Deal with it.
Saturday, May 21, 2005

Tips for a Happy Relationship

Listen:

When your man shows you an old photograph of yourself and says, "Look how cute your hair was!" it's time to get a haircut.

More often than not, in fact, when your man makes a comment on a specific aspect of your appearance, it's an indication that something is wrong. If he says "I like your blusher today," it means you've put on too much and it's waaay obvious. If he says "That's a really nice skirt," it very likely means you look like either a convent novice or a street hooker.

Because if you've got your look down right, all a man will notice (unless he works in fashion or design) is that you generally look good. He'll say things like: "You look great!" or "My woman is hot!" or, simply, "Wow!"

Except, when he says he likes your ass or tits, he probably just likes your ass or tits. Go ahead and translate this in your head to "I love you"--odds are, he doesn't say that as often as you'd like, and that's kind of what he means anyhow.

So anyway, day before yesterday, having received said photo with said comment from my husband, I went out and got my hair cut. I think I look like Deena Pilgrim from the comics series Powers (below).

Image hosted by Photobucket.com

Only, y'know, not quite so tough. But the smirk and the cigarette fit...
Nikki bit in at 2:00 PM :: ::
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illustration by El

Nikki Alfar is really not as sexy as El's illustration would have you believe... but she doesn't mind if you think of her that way.
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