1. Some long-lost relative of mine--the "Honorable P.J.", who used to work for Shell, apparently--has died and left behind 8.5 million dollars. And guess who his only living relative happens to be? Yup, me. I'll just have to ask Mom how dear, departed Uncle P.J. happens to be related to me, but not to her, Dad, or any of my four older brothers. (Of course, said older brothers have always maintained that they found me on top of a trash can, and only took me home on the mistaken assumption that I was a puppy... Yup! That would explain it!)
2. On the very same day, I have also managed to win the Spanish lottery! Which makes me even richer, to the tune of 300,000+ Euros. This just goes to show how differently they do things in foreign countries, so that you can actually win the lottery without even joining.
So now I am filthy rich, haha! I will give you all one or two of my many spare millions when the money starts pouring in.
(And if you actually believed any of this, you may wish to stop visiting my blog. We have a credulousness limit around here, y'know.)
update to the update:
Oh my goodness, I've now managed to win the lottery twice in one day! Once in Spain, and once in the Netherlands. This is an almost inconceivable case of beating the odds. I'm so lucky I could probably toss myself from the top of a building and land in a pile of cash.