obsessive-compulsive

The problem with me is, I have to do everything I do well. If I could only bring myself to do a half-assed job on anything, my life would probably be 60% easier, but nooo... Take this current project, for example, which my client had assumed would be a simple clean-up, but which is instead wringing out my brain and hanging it out to dry. I could just coast along and turn in something that looks good and makes apparent sense, but doesn't really do what it's supposed to. But no, I have to go above and beyond the project specifications, because I can see what it ought to be, and can't stand for it to be less than it should be.


Even at the gym, I've noticed that other women just get on the treadmill, set it to a low speed, and simply plod along at that pace until the time is up. Me? I have to keep pushing my cigarette-compromised heart to its limits by going faster and faster. I have to keep trying to lift heavier weights when other people are asking why the machine can't do anything lighter than its minimum.


And people are amazed that I'm not more ambitious. Please. If I didn't limit myself to projects with some kind of payback, I'd probably kill myself through sheer bloody-mindedness. Gah. How come there are no self-help books called "How to be Mediocre"?