I woke up in the wee hours of last night filled with a vague but acute sense of distress concerning Sage. After several minutes of arguing in vain with myself that there was no need to make a big fuss and wake the rest of the household up, I gave in and went to her bedroom to check on her.
Weirdly enough, she was awake too, having gotten up to ask her nanny for a middle-of-the-night milk bottle, something she hardly ever does anymore. Usually when she wakes up unexpectedly, she's crabby, wanting only to be left alone so she can return to slumberland; but last night, she was more than willing to cuddle and let me stroke her hair and whisper comforting mommy things in her ear.
If there's anything that occasionally rattles my so-called 'surreal calm' (Dean's words, not mine), it's the worry that I'm just too damned happy, and consequently, sooner or later the proverbial other shoe is going to stomp down upon me with a vengeance.
Which, I know, is the kind of concern that makes most people say, "We should only be so lucky!"
I do know I'm lucky, and I know that it's an extremely silly thing to worry over, but apparently, my subconscious has no idea.
reaching for the star... city
I'm thinking that maybe my guys and I could celebrate Dean's upcoming birthday at Star City or some similar place next Saturday. His actual birthday is on Friday, January 2, but Saturday would probably be better since (a) I'm sure Dean would want to spend the day itself with Sagey, who is a mite too young to really enjoy a carnival atmosphere, and (b) January 2 is also Vinnie's father's birthday, which means that Vin would be unable to join us, and would probably pout relentlessly as a result.
So, Saturday, if Dean and the gang agree. We've been wanting to go to that sort of thing anyway ('Tis the season, and all that.), and it might be a fun way to offset Dean's yearly feeling of impending middle age (at the age of just thirtysomething, what a silly!). Not our treat, though, because admittedly I overspent on Christmas this year.