I must say, however, that the customer service guy I called up to complain to was very nice-- even if he was a breather. You know, one of those folks who breathe heavily into the phone, making for very uncomfortable conversation. You feel like somehow you're being molested, even if the person in question is, in fact, nowhere near you, not to mention trying to help you, albeit unnervingly. It's eerie.
Like those guys you sit next to in public transportation who are constantly, noisily expelling air through their nostrils. What's that about? I mean, granted, the pollution around here is pretty bad, but we don't all feel compelled to go around acting like moose (Mooses? Meese?) in mating season. If their noses are stuffy, there are handkerchiefs and tissues that were invented just for that sort of problem.
Then there are the people who breathe strangely through their teeth. I dunno, is that supposed to be a filtration system? It's less conspicuous, though, than those folks who run around town with handkerchiefs or even surgical masks tied over their noses and mouths. Like that's going to keep out the carcinogens, I'm sure. Of course, it could be that some of them are simply poorly disguised superheroes, in which case I apologize for snickering behind their backs.
Actually, the worst part about weird breathers is that you can't really snicker behind their backs-- you never know if it's some kind of terrible medical condition. So you have to politely pretend not to notice, while secretly this queasy-wheezy behavior is driving you up the wall.
It probably says something about me that the way people breathe can have such an effect on me, but there you go-- I never said I was nice.
Grammar and Punctuation: capitalizing titles
Capitalization is way too diverse a topic to cover in a single post, so I'm breaking it down. This one is about the use of capitals when applied to job titles or positions. Contrary to popular belief, you do not capitalize every instance of a position or title; you only capitalize when the title immediately precedes the name of the title-bearer.
King Midas was a greedy man.
Midas, the king, was a greedy man.
If you read fantasy or science fiction, you'll see a lot of over-capitalization all over the place, as you will in practically any corporate big-shot background piece. Properly speaking, though, even the pope doesn't get capitalized when we're not mentioning him by name.