1. It prefers to proceed in a linear fashion. Which is why I have the devil’s own time writing copy for websites. In which people can just jump! To any page! At any time! Thereby accessing information which has not previously been led up to by other information! What about foreshadowing?! What about repetitive resonance?! Obviously, a college education in Creative Writing does nothing to prepare one for such an endeavor.
2. I tend to think in words rather than pictures. Seriously, if you tell me that this guy you’re crushing on is cute, the first thing that will pop into my mind is literally the word “cute”. It will take me several mental steps before I can actually progress to visualizing the physical cuteness of said guy. This is why it has taken me a period of years to be able to write comics scripts with a modicum of assurance. My colleagues over at the Jam comics anthology think I’m some kind of whiz at it, but it has not come without effort, believe me.
3. My brain is static by nature. Since I started writing scripts by doing comics, I tend to think in snapshot scenes. Which is why I have trouble writing for TV or AVPs, because it’s hard for me to visualize motion in my head. It’s like cartoon animation instead: a series of stills that, if you run them together quickly enough, seem to move. Nowadays, I can just about write for Flash animation if I grit my teeth and hunker down to do it; but I’ll only do a video script if I really, really like you or you’re willing to pay the really ridiculous rates I charge for it.
4. I have the mathematical ability of a sixth-grader. And don’t think I’m exaggerating, because that’s exactly what my guidance counselor told me when we were reviewing my college entrance test results. I no longer remember what the exact category names were, but in the cases of both NCEE and SAT, it was something like: Language Ability = 100%, Science and Logic = 100%, Mathematical Aptitude = 69%. This implies that while I know the word for what I am is “innumerate”, there’s not all that much I can effectively do about it.
Luckily, though my brain may have its limits, my sheer bloody-mindedness is very nearly without boundary. Which means, if I have to wring every last tortured brain cell dry to get the job done, I can and will do it.
If I like you enough. Or you pay me enough. You see, there are some numbers which I do understand.