Today is DONALD DUCK DAY.

The eyes have (had) it.
I've been having problems with my eyes the last couple of days. This morning, I woke up feeling like someone had implanted a razor blade in my left eyeball. (Yeah, if just the imagery made you wince, imagine how I felt.) It was so bad that I huddled under the bedcovers for most of the day, cursing myself for having bought filmy translucent curtains instead of drapes that would properly shut out the eye-offending sunlight. The only reason I'm out of bed and at the computer now is that (a) it's nighttime, and (b) God bless Tylenol.


Yesterday, Sage accidentally whacked me one in the right eye, the aftereffects of which make me look like a victim of spousal abuse, if I don't apply the ol' concealer wizardry. Speaking of which...


Did you hear the one about Dean?
Rumor has it that his 'deep, dark secret' is that "he sends Nikki out to 'play' with other girls". I just heard this recently.


I am mildly offended by this scuttlebutt-- not because of my supposed secret-yet-authorized lesbian shenanigans, but because of the phrase "he sends her". What am I, some kind of porn-style bloodhound? Does Dean supposedly spot some likely-looking lass and go, "Fetch, wife!"? Listen up, rumor-mongers: Nikki. Does not. Get. Sent. Anywhere. Nikki goes or does not go as she damn well pleases, all right?


As for the rumor itself-- how silly can you get? Anyone who knows us even slightly knows that the reason we don't have deep, dark secrets is that we go around telling everyone everything. Heck, if it were something as kinkily titillating as extramarital lesbian action, I'd probably blog about it! Alas, to paraphrase Tallulah Bankhead, "I've had a man, and I've had a woman, and believe me, men are better." In other words, when it comes to sex, I'd say dickin' beats lickin' any day of the week.

Grammar and Punctuation: colons vs. dashes (for El)
Both the colon and the dash are used to introduce a succeeding clause within a sentence. Formally speaking, the colon is used to introduce an independent clause that amplifies the preceding clause, while a dash introduces a clause that explains the preceding one. In practical use, however, they are fairly interchangeable when used in this manner.


E.g.
Amie was glad to be back from England: she couldn't stop smiling.
Amie was glad to be back from England-- she had been gone for some time.


Also, a colon is used to introduce a list of particulars, while a dash more properly summarizes a list.


E.g.
Amie checked that her luggage was complete: suitcase, valise, and handcarry.
Amie had packed a suitcase, a valise, and a handcarry tote-- all her necessities in three pieces of luggage.


Finally, a dash is used to indicate an interruption or abrupt break, while a colon may be used to introduce an illustrative quotation.


E.g.
Amie had planned-- as much as planning was possible, given Manila traffic-- to be home from the airport by ten.
Amie's happy homecoming reminded her of the old cliche: "Home is where the heart is."