Contradiction in Terms
You say to-may-toe; I say toh-mah-tah. Deal with it.
Wednesday, October 27, 2004

Today is Separation of Church & State Day.

Not that such a thing has really actually occurred in the Philippines, mind you.

YOU... or, actually, ME
Wow, what a great homecoming present! My old chum Joey has graciously featured me as this week's Blog Addict over at the YOU website of INQ7. I have some doubts about being on a 'website for the interactive youth', because I don't think I'm particularly youthful anymore, but if you're interested in reading my blog-related blathering, you can check it out here.

why I'm not youthful
The trip to the States was fun, but exhausting. Between the demands for attention from my mother and daughter, co-hosting a party for my stepfather, balancing the increasingly-fraying tempers of my husband and mom, and general cooking, cleaning, and child-caretaking, I was a rag by the end of week two, and looked forward to coming home to my apartment and particularly my household help after week three.

Yet when we got home, what greeted us was more stress, as we learned that Dean's cell phone had been stolen, and that our two helpers were vindictively blaming one another over the loss. We ended up having to fire one of them, and the dust has yet to settle over the affair, and my clothes have yet to unpacked. You can read more about it (the Situation, not the clothes) at Dean's blog, as I'm really too aggravated to discuss the matter further.

the difference between the first and third worlds
From observations I made during our trip:

1. In the first world, people leave things like cell phones and digital cameras on easily accessible surfaces like bar counters, and they're still there hours later. At grocery stores, they leave the carts out in the parking lot. In the third world, we can barely put out trash cans without needing to nail them down.

2. In the third world, we know the difference between sushi and sashimi, and we understand that siomai has no place on the menu of a Japanese restaurant. It's all just Asian to first-worlders.

3. In the first world (or at least in Florida), five cars = traffic. Metro Manila denizens must stop snickering now before the laughter turns to hysterical tears.

4. In the third world, Nikki is a few pounds overweight. In the first world, Nikki is positively svelte because there are hordes of people whose thighs are the size of her waistline.

5. Here in the third world, it's hard to find toilet paper in public bathroom stalls because people habitually steal it. Even though it's crummy, single-ply, sandpaper-textured toilet paper, it's fair game for petty theft. In the first world, most toilet paper you encounter in public restrooms is three-ply, quilted with fanciful designs, and softer than most people's bedsheets. Yet it stays unmolested in the stalls because in their homes, people don't seem to use toilet paper. Instead, they favor a plethora of pre-moistened wipes enhanced with lotion, antibacterial formula, or aloe.

So while we may all put our pants on one leg at a time, it seems that we wipe our butts in very different ways. Perhaps what this indicates is that we third-worlders are hardasses.

And proud of it.
Nikki bit in at 9:45 AM :: ::
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Location: Pasig City, Metro Manila, Philippines

class act/guttersnipe. tomboy/girly-girl. serious writer/comics hack. wife & mom/tart & tease. obssessive-compulsive/laid-back. sweetheart/bitch. all that.

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