Today is Fortune Cookie Day.

I hate having my fortune told, unless it comes in cookie form.

the trouble with taxis
Stuck in a taxi in heavy traffic the other day, I asked the driver if his was a non-smoking taxi. I do this often, and usually the drivers are smokers themselves, so they don't mind. Occasionally, though, they aren't too keen on smoke in their vehicles, which I totally understand, so I hold off until after the ride.

This time, the driver launched into a monologue on The Evils of Smoking. Now of course, I get this a lot from certain types of non-smokers, who feel the need to proselytize, and persist in the belief that they are telling me something I don't know. When people who understand sarcasm do this, I reply, "What!? You mean smoking is unhealthy? You don't say!" Generally, though, I let them have their say, because people have a need for discourse and presumably don't keep blogs of their own so that they can post their rants online where they belong.

Anyway, I sat in the cab and tuned the guy out until he started getting personal. "Ikaw pa naman, ang ganda-ganda mong babae, nag-yoyosi. Ang pangit tignan ng babaeng nagyoyosi, parang insulto sa Maykapal." ("You in particular, a beautiful woman, smoking. It's ugly to see a woman smoking, like an insult to God.")

Now I can take abuse about my smoking, condescension about my gender, and holier-than-thou attitudes about God, but not all in the space of two sentences. So even though we were less than halfway to my destination, I told him--politely--to pull over, got out of the car, and started walking.

You ought to know, folks: I'll eat fish, and I'll eat meat, but there is some shit I will not eat.

Have you ever noticed that the majority of taxi cab drivers can tell you at length what needs to be done to save the country, yet apparently cannot manage to prepare change for a hundred-peso bill at any given time of day? It boggles the mind.